What In the Fuck????

So I'm a bit of a music snob and I truly believe in the power of music.  I believe that music should reflect the realities of the time that it was released.  It can be a capsule of viewing into the past or better yet, the mood and the timbre of current events from certain segments of society.

It should be rebellious.  Your parents are supposed to turn up their noses at your music and ask what the hell is wrong with you kids today.  It should be about YOUR era and YOUR experiences, not that of your parents.  Don't get me wrong; I can understand an appreciation of older music.  But part of being young is being in the now; old people live in the past.  I'm old and try my best to live in the now.

That being sad, I don't understand this obsession with classic rock in the Midwest, in particular Ohio.  It seems as if the only decade that music was created was the late 60's to the mid 70's.  Radio stations in Cincinnati in particular have a set list that includes the Foo Fighters, Bob Seger, Steve Miller, Nirvana and a few odd songs at least 15 years old. 

Right now, I'm living in Army barracks with guys that will deploy to Iraq with me.  One of my roommates is playing Pink Floyd .... Pink Fucking Floyd.  Not he's not stoned although he was a stoner previous to the Army.  Guess how old he is?  35? Wrong.  40?  Wrong as hell.  45? Wrong again.  Try 22.  Yeah ... 22 fucking years old and he's playing Pink Floyd.  He was like 6 year old when these old fuckers released their last "album".  But he plays it like no other music exists.

It might not be so bad if the music collection of these guys varied but it's as if they only recently discovered grunge. No need to daydream about the first time I heard the Offspring or Stone Temple Pilots.  I'll hear that in about 20 minutes .... oh, I'm sorry, every 20 minutes between 8 minute drones by Pink Floyd punctuated with organ solos .... yeah organ solos.  

I can't imagine going to high school in the Midwest.  Parties must have sucked: "Hey, let's play some Steve Miller or Bob Seger.  That'll make playing quarters really fucking awesome."  To quote a character from my wife's favorite reality series: "How dreadful."  I guess if their parents came in, they'd love the music and probably join right in singing a Creedence Clearwater Revival tune.  You won't hear B.O.B. or T.I. or the Kings of Leon one of these parties ... unless it's being thrown by someone who grew up outside the Midwest.

Maybe these people are trying to live the only decade in which the Midwest had any sort of cache.  In the '70s, you had WKRP in Cincinnati, classic rock and American muscle cars.  But those days are over.  Howard Hessman is no longer Johnny Fever, the members of Pink Floyd ended up fighting one another in court and the American muscle car is now seen as a gas guzzler.  Next year will be 2011, not 1977.

My wife is amazed how kids in her classes (she's a middle school teacher) will know all the words to "Freebird" or "The Joker".  The only version of "The Joker" I'm interested in is Homer Simpson's.   I'm not cut out for the Midwest ... I'm so not.

A Little Bit More About Me ...

It's been a while since I've blogged but I'm ready to start again.  I've got things going on in my life that make this a superb outlet for blogging.  I'm old now ... really old.  I'm 40 and that doesn't sound old, but when you can remember when you having a pager was cool ... hell, that's old.  But I stopped blogging before when life caught up with me.  It's a hard job to keep saying something witty and relevant everyday aside from idle bitching.

I'm in the National Guard right now and we're getting ready to deploy to Iraq.  It's for roughly a year but with the Army, who knows?  We know where we'll be but I'll tell you about that later.  Anyways, being in the Guard was something I did years before I met my wife.  If had been with her at that time, I wouldn't have went back in.  What I mean by "back in" is that I spent nearly 6 years on active duty back in the early 90's with a short little detour to Saudi Arabia and South Korea along the way.

Right now, I'm in Ft. Sill, Oklahoma.  My unit is doing just enough training so that we'll be unfamiliar with everything when we get there.  Right now, we're kind of in limbo waiting to actually pull out of this place.  We completed all of our training so we mostly just stare at one another and get annoyed with each other and even ourselves.  It's what happens when you keep grown men locked up and treat them like children.  We can't go off-post and have to sign a roster sheet showing where we're going at all times.  I think residents on daily meds at a retirement home have more freedom than we do.

We're constantly on our toes waiting for the next shoe to drop.  Some people say that this is actually good training for what we'll see over there.  I disagree wholeheartedly.  This is utter bullshit 90% of the time.  You see, I understand the whole Army bullshit mentality of "be ready for change".  I get this and I understand that things constantly change.  But there is a difference between changes in situations and what my unit does: last-minute training because some jack-off didn't plan out things well in advance so we get to jump through hoops so that said jack-off doesn't look bad.  

You can say "Well hey Cincy, my boss does that shit as well."  Not many of you work until 6 PM and then get called in on your day off to go do something that you're already certified to do.  If you do, then you can understand the hell that is the National Guard.  We truly are like the Army's Junior Varsity team: we work harder to prove ourselves; but if we did shit right in the first place, we wouldn't have to work harder.

The Provincial City

When most people hear the word provincial, they probably think of the Provence region in France which is known for great food, beautiful scenery and a haven for artists. Others might think of the provinces in Canada, a nation known for its warm and welcoming attitude. Now, use the word provincial in reference to the metropolitan area in which I live.

Great food? Not unless you vote chain restaurants to the top spots in every “Best of ….” poll.

Beautiful scenery? Sure, the river running through the middle of downtown is scenic …. from a distance. Get closer and you’ll see it’s a mud-colored body of water separating two dilapidated cities that one only need stray a few blocks into to get mugged or shanked.

Arts? At one time, the region was known as “Paris of America”. Today, it is home to probably the largest bedbug outbreak in the nation due in part to its aging rental market. In fact, there are entire neighborhoods (Norwood being one) with no new construction since the ‘70s.

Warm and welcoming attitude? Unless you grew up there and can trace your education back to a local high school, you’re an outsider and likely to remain so until either you die or move.

Just in case you’re curious what city I’m talking about, let’s just call it the Queen City. OK, that is enough of a hint for anyone to Google it and figure that we’re talking about Cincinnati, OH. It’s a Midwest oddity. I understand civic pride just as well as anyone, but a provincial attitude is just not what you’d expect in a big city.

It's a city in conflict with itself if no one else is available. It’s West side vs. East side in Cincinnati. It’s Skyline vs. Gold Star. It’s Classic Rock vs. …… well, all they listen to is classic rock. It’s a city that is perpetually behind the times and behind social attitudes toward anything even slightly progressive. It’s a city in search of an identity because it truly does not have one. It is Cincinnati.